This Blog is dead, long live the Elf.

Those who know me, will understand that I have a slight appreciation for the Southern Irish accent when spoken by a female. So understand my feelings when last night I was in a crowded bar outside of Shannon surrounded by extremely attractive women. I creamed my pants!

So last night was a first for me then, I'm on the phone to Caroline, our usual Friday night, Caroline off her tits conversation, and she threw up, while on the phone! Superb!

And it's time for my fucking irregular update! :) Well, for a catchup, here is the 'Ryan embarrasses a friend' part. So, how drunk do you have to be to partake in the following conversation. "Where'smy fucking mobile?" "What?" "Shit, I've lost my fucking mobile!" "Erm.. Aren't you talking to me on it?" "Where my mobile?" "You are talking on it!!!" "Shit, I can't believe I lost my phone" "YOU ARE USING IT!!!!!" Answers on a postcard please. Also in the same conversation, extracts taken to avoid boredom.... "I've just walked past my window naked!" and "Shit, I've locked myself inside my house" Ok, that done, and update, I'm in Ireland at the moment, in Shannon to be precise, here for 4 days and then travelling (Haven't a clue how) up to Cork for a couple of days. Unfortunately, this is all with work! Well, I look forward to the fact that I am probably going to be forced to take the month of October off work to get rid of some holiday!

One for the Pratchett fans out there, Annotations of the Discworld books, most recent books haven't been done, but they have Guards, MaA and FoC, so what else matters? And for other Pratchetty goodness, go here.

Email's Awesome, Email's Weird!

Ok, Very quick post....... I was on holiday today, cool to have a day off, me and Marc went into town to go shopping. And during that time, we had the standard type of conversations that me and Marc generally go through.. -Figuring out how many kids the thirteen years olds we saw in Slough had. -How fucking old we are getting. -Abusing random fucktards for being retarded. -'A' Levels. -Anal Beads -Preferred size of anal beadage????? -Difference between anal beadage and anal sex. -If some people couldn't see the difference. -Automated Wanking machines for use on long drives or in meetings. -Point of climax whilst in aforesaid meeting. -Going through half the church and half the convent school in Slough, Marc and me respectively. Erm..that was pretty much all, some people think we are freaks?

So we went out to Dusseldorf old town last night, we got there just before 10, and I noticed that some of the pubs were closed. 'Incredible' I thought, a place that has even suckier pub hours than the UK. Then someone let me know that some pubs don't open until 10PM, due to the fact that they are open until sunrise. So there we have it, The UK still has the suckiest hours for pubs in Europe! Drank lots, didn't vomit, hot women everywhere, and the don't seem to mind walking up to you, and sticking their tongue down your throat with barely a word. Probably for the best, as by that point, the only phrase I could possibly have uttered, would have involved 2 World Wars, and something about a World cup?? Potentially ending in the line 5-1, 5-1. Well, twas a good night, no hangover this morning surprisingly, I just counted my self lucky to have been too drunk to be able to Goose step through the streets. My God, I'm a bastard, what am I?

WTF??? German man sues for lack of porn and prostitutes

How sweet revenge and a time difference are! So C called me last night then, at about 2AM German time, yeah, that woke me up, didn't answer the call, as was guessing that she was in a drunken stupor. But then, I had to be up at 8AM CET today to get into the office, so what did I do, I called her back, and the silly woman left her mobile turned on. I don't think she was too happy, or sober!

What is it with me and SNOW??? So it started snowing in Dusseldorf about 5 minutes ago then! That makes Gothenburg, Helsinki, London, Bristol and Dusseldorf so far.

Yeah, OK, I've been slacking chronically! After freezing my ass off in Helsinki, I went to Bristol, didn't really feel the need to blog about such an extensive travel arrangement though! :) But now, I'm in Dusseldorf, having fun with ze Germans! So far, all is good, haven't been arrested, and have managed thus far to refrain from mentioning the war! But funny thing though, at Heathrow on the way here, it was lunchtime, and I fancied a bite to eat, remembering that I am on expenses, I could of gone anywhere, they have some quite nice restaurants throughout the airport, so, after much deliberating of about 5 seconds, I chose Burger King. But as I was eating, I thought more about it, I could of eaten anything, and pretty much anywhere, but I chose BK, and the more I thought, the more I realised, I am a complete slave to the fast food generation.

Holy mother of all that is good a pure! I'm in Helsinki at the moment, arrived today, stepped out of the airport, and froze, it's about -8C outside at the moment apparently. This morning it was -18C. If you step outside for too long, your face actually begins to freeze. This is fan-fucking-tastic.

So, arrived in Gothenberg today, and was getting moist before I'd even left the airport, this is ridiculous, Swedish women should have an 18 Certificate on them! Well, it is snowing, it is bloody cold, and I love it! Still in the office at the moment (18:00). Then going to head into town for some Swedish hospitality! Woo hoo! Beer's all round. NARF!

Ahhh, stereotypical Italian food, can't get enough of it!! I went out for Pizza this evening, so into this restaurant we go, order a prosciutto + wurstel pizza, basically, Ham and sausage. And they bring me a pizza, that is bigger than the world! I couldn't get halfway through it, I had to give up, all that for 5 Euros, fantastic!

Well, much apologies for the lack of blogs, but as I said before, this is I guess going to become a blog for when I am away with work.. And, that time has come around.....again! For those of you that didn't know, I am currently in Florence, and you may say, 'Nice, warm weather, nice city'. But you would be seriously wrong about the weather!! It's colder than London, and I didn't think that was possible! I have just witnessed the argument of the century, there were raised voices, hands were expressing thoughts at a billion miles an hour, eventually the two people involved in the argument became a blur, it heated up into a full on screaming match..... ...I then found out that this was a discussion over what type of coffee to put in the machine. FFS, what the hell am I doing here! :)

'Spose I'd better post today to say Happy Birthday Bitch, I hope you enjoy all the little boys you intend to do today, and try not too munch too much cock or you'll be ill.

I've kinda realised what this blog is to become, I think it will basically be used for me to rant about things that happen when I am away from home. Like this weekend for instance! :) Lucky fucking me, I get to spend my weekend in Derby! Woot! I can't think of any better place in the world to be right now than an office in East Midlands, waiting for the users to start bitching that 'The colors are different on my screen now', or 'Can I change the colors', or 'I can't see this properly, can I change the color'. Hmm, does anyone see a pattern going on here?? You see, if a program crashed, and the user rebooted, and then it crashed again, they would avoid going into that program, by just doing something else entirely, instead of just fucking telling the IS guy that is sitting ten feet away, waiting for problems to occur. But the moment they notice that the screen is a different shade of blue than it originally was, they are up in arms, as if the world is about to end! Muppets! But in all honesty, I have to say, it isn't that bad at all, apart from the 4 hour journey on the M1 to get here, everything has been cool so far. *touch wood* Hur Hur, I said 'wood'! :)

Light surrounds me now, the pain as it hits my eyes is becoming unbearable Every time I move my head, I feel as though a thousand needles are being hammered into my brain. People are insistant on talking to me, and dragging me into various meetings and calls. I insist that I will be no use, but they seem to enjoy preying on my weakness. The day will soon be over, and i can go and hide in my room, and sleep again. I swear to fucking God, I am never drinking again.

No food and much Vodka make Ryan something something....... Well, the simple answer is this, it makes Ryan leave an Irish bar at about 01:30 ish in the morning, and decide to walk back to the hotel, now, anyone who has ever been to Seattle knows, that every single street, is on a hill, some are better than others, but most of them are really really steep! The bar was near the seafront, so getting there wasn't an issue, gravity played its part, and helped us walk the 6 blocks or so. But, coming back, and having to go uphill at one in the morning, while utterly fucked, and unable to walk, isn't a good plan! I think I may have actually crawled up one street, because I just couldn't walk it anymore, and also, I had to call a guy from our London office, and ask him how to get back to the hotel from where I was. Ahhh, drunkenness is never a pretty thing! Everything really hurt this morning, but I've been told that last night was just a warm up, and tonight we are really going for it, as the Irish guy who is here with me flies home tomorrow. I'm never gonna last until the weekend!

Arsebiscuit eating monkey shagging flight cancelling bastards!!! So, my original flight got cancelled due to bad weather, now admittedly, it was raining quite hard in Dallas, but there wasn't any kind of strong wind or anything, it was just raining really hard! It kinda made me laugh though, if it rains really hard in the UK, the guys at the airport put on overcoats and the flight might leave about 30 minutes late, in Dallas, if it starts raining, sheer terror and panic sets in, and the pretty much close the airport! So anyways, I had to overnight on Monday in Dallas, and caught the first flight out to Seattle on Tuesday. Funny thing was, even though they cancelled my flight, they refused to give us back our checked bags, and so I had no spare clothes in Dallas on Monday night. Eeewww, Stinky! Oooh, another amusing part about the flight to Seattle, turbulence was really fun, some of the worst I have been through, as we dropped into the clouds heading towards Seattle airport, the plane dropped, really quite violently, a couple of people screamed, it was seriously cool! At that point, I knew that the landing was gonna be a fun one. So, the pilot resorted to just throwing the thing down on the runway in the end, mainly to avoid the wind pushing a wing into the ground, and as we hit the runway, and bounced back up, then slammed back down again, someone about 5 rows ahead of me threw up! That was a bad sign, because the smell slowly spread, and then someone about 4 rows ahead threw up, then someone 3 rows ahead. At this point, I covered my mouth and nose with my jacket, I kinda figured out what was going on, and about 5 seconds later, the girl next to me promptly went really pale, and threw up! Hehe, good times! So, anyway, in Seattle now, here until Sunday, then catch the night flight home. I'm actually looking forward to going home now, living out of a suitcase really has it's sucky points sometimes!

Ho Hum, another day, another flight!! Not that I'm complaining about being in the States, but really, In about 6 hours, I'm getting on my 3rd plane in just over a week, after today, I will have travelled about 10,000 miles in a week, and suffered 17 hours in the air! By the time I get back to the UK next week, I will have spent 26 hours of my life in the last 2 weeks on a plane! Hmm, this is why Australia is not an option for me, I really couldn't do the flight!

People over here really need to figure out accents! I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN!!!!!!!!

Sweetness itself, I'm sitting in one of the Gates as Seattle airport, waiting for my flight down to Dallas, and I've got my computer on my lap, and connecting up via the wireless connections they have spread throughout the airport. Humble opinion time, all airports should have this!!!

Ok, So, I've been in Seattle for a few days now, and I thought, I don't blog much, because I never really have much to talk about, so why the hell haven't I been blogging for the last few days! Ok, quick catchup, 'cos I am still really badly Jetlagged! Flew from London to Seattle on BA Club Class, sweetness itself, drinking in the lounge before the flight, then get onboard, take off, hit a button, and the seat reclines into a bed. Sweetness!! Anyway, got to Seattle, and the hotel has everything! including a fitness and leisure centre on the 2nd floor, hmmm, feel the swimming and whirlpool fun! Went to the Zoo today, and realised that I will never grow up! I'm a modern day Peter Pan, except without the Green leotard! I've spent the day playing on the arcades, beating strange American folk at racing games, and grinning madly at Elephants, Lions, Tigers, Tapiers!, Gorillas, and a strange monkey that insisted on lifting his mates tail, and licking his arse!!!! Also went to an Aquarium, saw freaky jellyfish type things, I had the option of touching them, politely refused and walked away! And there is someone famous staying in the hotel, trying to figure out who at the moment, but there was a bus outside today(maybe could mean a band), and there were loads of people outside waiting for autographs. Anyways, I'm in town for another couple of days, then shooting down to Dallas for a week. ttfn!

I wrote this post late on Saturday night, I intended to post it right there and then, but couldn't connect to Blogger, but after much thinking about it, I decided fuck it, may as well post anyway. It is probably the only post I will ever write that is truly coming from me. So here I am, One in the morning, and I really need to talk to someone.. But the problem is, that not many people could understand my thoughts right now. I don't think I can write too much, but here is a brief summary of my evening of fun. My main mistake, is that I went back, Initially I turned up and stayed long enough to be sociable. Then left when it all got too much, but later, I went back, I don't think i had much choice in the matter really, I guess I had to see her one last time looking the way she did. Hehe, my bad! I seriously think that a part of me has gone now, there was some part of me that was holding out some vein of hope about an undecided future, and I'm pretty sure that that hope is now gone. I think I will remember some of the conversations for a really long time. 1>You look stunning 2>Thanks for coming, I didn't think you would turn up 1>Well, you know me, wouldn't have missed it. Congratulations sweetie 2>Do you really mean that? Or just saying it? :) 1>Of course I mean it. :) 2>Hmmm :/, but still, I really mean it, Thanks for coming along, It really means a lot to me. That one I was expecting, she knows everything about me, and about my feelings, but this one, was in a way, surprising, but in another way, not.... 1> Congratulations mate 2> Yeah, it's all crazy at the moment, but sinking in, look, I really want to say thanks for coming, you've made her day by being here, and I know how hard it must have been. 1> Erm, yeah, well, nah, it's cool, you're both happy, so, it's cool. 2> You'll come round to see us when we get back though won't ya? 1> Definitely, gimme a call when you're back and I'll pop over. Yadda yadda, we were chatting for about 5 minutes or so before I left, and the annoying thing is, that he is such a nice bloke. And the even more annoying thing is, that I can see us becoming quite good friends, which means that I will probably see them quite often? Hmm, you know when your worst nightmares and best dreams come true at the same time. I get the feeling that I now do. Anyway, apologies for the really fucking confusing post for those of you who don't understand what the hell I am talking about. Time to drink lots, fall asleep, and pray for a really severe dose of amnesia by the morning. :) Oh, and for an added kick in the teeth, guess who I got to have the last dance of the evening with, yeah, I never wanted that song to end. Ah well, will finish by saying 'Congratulations to you both, I truly hope you are happy forever'.

Well, the circle of digs is continuing, let me explain... Marc does not update his site in a while, of course he has extremely good reasons for this being the case, but I made a comment in jest, this action caused him to update his site and make comment regarding my comment. Following this, Jo then reads Marc's site, and Jo proceeds to send me an email to comment on the comment he read on Marc's site that was commenting on my comment. Therefore, due to this sudden splurge of commenting, I decided to give an update to the site, there, everyone Happy??? :) Oh, and I am considering writing a book, if it happens, the book will be about a Bucket of Cheese. below you will find the rough outline of the opening chapter, should it ever happen. 'Try to picture yourself being forced to eat it, someone could be standing behind you, with their foot in the back of your neck, shoving your face into the bucket, any unsuspecting passer-by, may turn their head, and see in the bucket, a 'Jo face' imprint in the cheese, maybe a little nibble from out of the edge of the cheese. I can imagine the scene, the setting is a dark alley, maybe New York, possible Boston, it has to be a grimy alleyway, pollution and dirt everywhere, Chicago may work as a substitute, you are on your knees with the bucket, but now, the guy forcing you to eat the cheese has a shotgun, and he is threatening to shoot you if you don't eat ALL the cheese!! There could be loud music, growing to a crescendo as you make your way through the bucket, and at the climax of the scene, you could be chucking your guts up everywhere, with semi-processed bits of cheese coming out of your nose, and maybe hitting and sticking to the camera, I can pretty much hear the clear sounds of bile being forced up your throat by the constant wretching of a man who has eaten far too much cheese, and now is ridding himself of the vile elements of evil!' I would like to thank Mojojojo WooWoo for the source material. :)

Quick post today, just a note to offer my condolensces to Marc and Jo and their family. In the early hours of this morning, their father lost his battle against a brain tumour. From what I knew of him, he was everything that his wife and two sons could ask for. My thoughts are with them today.

This last week has been really messed up, things have been getting really bad for Marc and Jo's family. I think everyone has accepted now that the situation will shortly be ending. It sounds really harsh to say that so bluntly, but I can think of now other way of saying it. I guess the only thing they can all be thankful for is that they were advised that this would happen, and for some time now, they have been preparing themselves to say goodbye. I have been trying to come up with a single good thing surrounding this incident, and I can come up with only one, the only possible comfort people can have with this, is the knowledge that they are being given time to say goodbye. Over the past few years, many of my friends, uncles, grandparents have passed away, I think at the last count it was around 9 or something like that, and although I freely admit, that none of those situations can be considered the same emotionally as the current one surrounding others, I know that what fucked me up the most, was never saying goodbye, it isn't the same when you are standing at the side of a grave making your peace with someone when there is no certainty that you are being heard. Guys, believe me when I say that all of my thoughts are with you right now, I guess at some point in my life, I will understand what you are feeling at this time, and I really hope that that moment for me is a long time coming, but at the moment, I can only try and imagine it. All I can say, is that what I wrote above was truly from the heart, You are being given a one chance thing to really say goodbye. Don't waste this, you'll never get another. And don't hesitate to use those around you if you think there is anyway we can help, we are all here waiting for you to ask.

My Soul is worth just over £14000. I've been a bad boy!

Very Brief update! For those who know me, know that I work in IT. Currently, there is a meeting in our HQ in Seattle for the IT people in our region. Unfortunately, I drew the short straw, and didn't get to go, also, another guy in my office is in the same situation. And the situation is as follow. My Normal job is as a 3rd Level Support for 45 HP Servers around Europe, this usually takes up most of my day. My current job this week has been 1st, 2nd and 3rd Level support for 45 HP servers, 45 Email Servers, 45 File servers, god knows how many Document Imaging Servers...etc....etc.. You kinda get the message, well, it's Friday now, so we've been going through this shit all week, and so, my boss just came in, first time I've seen him all week, and in a cheery voice, says. "So, how is it going, do you guys need any help?" Hmm, for four fucking days, we have been dying, and not a word, yesterday, I was close to seeing if I could manage to ram a keyboard down a fucking users throat! I did well to hold back, I only raised my voice to my boss twice, and then he got embarrassed and left! Anyway, back to the grind.

Welcome to Orange Customer Services, to speak to a retard, press 1, to speak to a beancounter retard, press 2, blah blah blah blah.... Many button presses later...... Thank you, if you are suicidal by this time, and the cause has been our fucking demented automated service, please press 1, For a direct line to the samaritans, please press 2, To speak with a fucking retard, press 3. Again with the pressy Button thing....... CS : Welcome to Customer Services, can I take your Orange number please? Me : Don't have one, I cancelled with Orange a couple of months ago. I got a Credit Invoice through the post for £75 and want to confirm how you will get me this money. CS : Well, the amount will go onto your next Orange Bill. Me : I cancelled two months ago, I won't get another bill, So how will I get the money? (I Give the Account number, calls up my account) (Can hear excess key tapping on the end of the phone) CS : Ok Sir, I am putting that through for you now, So the total amount is £75.24, would you like to pay that using your Switch card? ME : What do you mean 'Pay'?? I thought you were paying me? CS : Oh, did you say you had a Credit on the account? Sorry Sir, I thought you were making a bill payment. Me : .......... CS : Well, your next billing date is on the 27th, so the credit will appear on that bill. Me : ..........(cough)......erm....CANCELLED!!!!! CS : Oh yes Sir, I see that your account has been cancelled, in that case, we can hold the credit for you in case you decide to come back to Orange in the future. Me : Trust me, I won't be coming back, believe me on this, Can you just refund the amount to my Switch account? CS : No problem Sir, that has gone through for you now. Me : Are you sure? You have definitely put the amount through, going into my bank, not out of it? CS : Yes Sir, the amount has gone through, will there be anything else sir? Me : No, that is all. CS : Then may I ask why you decided to leave Orange, we like to find out to try and constantly improve our Customer Service Abilities. (click) Seriously, how can they be such a bunch of fucking retards! I used to really like Orange, they have never been bad to me before, but it seems that it is only since I went to Vodafone that the blinders have come off, and I have realised what utter fucking retards they are!

Okies, haven't posted in bloody ages, hmm, even typing this is kinda cool, and seeing as it has been so long that Jo had to shout at me to get me to update, I thought I may as well post! Ok, to catch up, busy at work, loads happening, may be moving to Seattle in a couple of years, not sure yet, to be decided over the next year or so, now playing Star Wars Galaxies, very good game, taking up too much of my life though, also playing squash three times a week, yeah, that's a fucking killer, and about 2 months ago, I had a scare where I thought I may have cancer, so that was fun! Turned out it wasn't, but it puts things in perspective! Anyway, that is all for now, more to follow. TTFN! Schnookums!

Well, finished making the body of the car last night, so we cut out the shell, stuck it on the car and went for a test. It wasn't disappointing!! Donuts in the car park are a mans best friend. Sprayed the shell last night, so just gotta put the Decals on, and then Subaru goodness all round!

Got my R/C Car yesterday!! Rock! Started building it last night round Marc's house, surprisingly, we actually got quite far. It is sooo cool making it all, we actually had to assemble a two differential gears for the driveshaft, I mean, WTF??? Well, it's all looking good so far, should hopefully have a working model by tonight, and then I can wince in pain as either A) Forward =Reverse. B) Left = Right C) Push forward, motor explodes. D) Push forward, car explodes. E) Push forward, nothing explodes, but nothing happens either, car is just dead.. F) Push forward, car accelerates up to eighty eight Mph, sparks come out from the wheels, and the car vanishes, leaving only a trail of flame on the road behind it, and suddenly whilst in the middle of one of his propaganda speeches that he so loves, Hitler is smacked in the face by 1/10 scale Subaru Impreza flying through the air. Actually, F would be kinda cool! With the whole flux thing going on, hmm..... Ok, I really need to get away from work..........

Must say a big Well Done to Stuii. This pretty much sums up everything about the USA at the moment, couldn't have said any part of it better myself! And must say a massive GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY to blogger for the below blog!

How hot has the weather been this weekend???? Now, for most people, this is a good thing, for me, it is a fucking nightmare!!!! First, lets go through the easy stuff, my bedroom gets hot at any time of year, right below my room, is the kitchen, and the boiler room thingy! So even in winter, my room is hot! During summer, I don't so much as go to sleep, as pass out when I get tired enough. Well, hopefully soon that will change, as I've decided it's time to get a ceiling fan, partly for keeping the room cool, and partly because they are kinda cool!! And for the other reason I hate heat, as some of you know, I was really bloody stupid when I was about 3 yrs old! Pulling boiling hot water over yourself isn't the best move in life, I don't recommend it, it leads to months in hospital, far too many operations, surgeons moving skin from any part of your body that wasn't burnt to your chest in an attempt to rebuild it, effectively from scratch, and then following from that, a lifetime of hating any kind of prolonged heat exposure! To summarise this bit, I have scars over my chest and arms, due to this, I cannot sweat from these parts of my body, over my life so far, I have established that the general breakpoint of heat that I can stand, is about 20 Degrees Celsius (about 70F). Whenever the temperature is over that, I mostly hide in the shade, failure to do this results in the following .... 1 to 30 mins - Enjoying the heat 30 to 45 mins - Usually by this point, a headache is imminent 45 to 60 mins - Starting to feel feint and sick. 60 mins onwards - Generally from this point, it will lead to me passing out. From the above, I hope you can gather, I hate summer!!! Roll on Winter is all I can say! What I feel I have to add to this part, is that the above rules are specific to UK heat, I've been to many countries in my life where the temperature has been on average about 30 Degrees C. But the heat is much drier, and doesn't fuck you up so much, very strange!

Linkerama day today, celebrating my 2nd post of the month!!! Damn I'm good! Coolest thing in the world, somebody quick, buy me a monkey!! B3ta have got an interview with the Caped Crusader of Tunbridge Wells. And this is just goodness itself! Asteroids was good, we all agree this, but then they made it much better, they got food involved! WTF?? Sample Quote = "Once, when I was 11, I closed the refrigerator door on myself, I pumped hard, and ejaculated right into the veggie bin." Sick and Wrong!!!

Well, it's been a long time, and the main thing that has pushed me to updating this blog, it to allow Marc to make a joke that he has been waiting to do for a while! I keep stopping and starting with the blog, each time I get round to looking at it, I feel pretty good about posting, but then I just lose it again. I'm going through a lot of shit at the moment, it's all going to come out in the next few months, but I need to get myself sorted out first. Once I get it all clear in my head, I can then start to act on things and deal with stuff. Well, moving swiftly along on to fluffier things.... Jo has started his own Web comic mostly based on events happening to people around him, take a look, pretty cool!

Hmm, another week flies by! It has been really quick! Not a lot happened really, same stuff going on at work, nothing changes there. I did find out that I am finally being sent out to our HQ in Seattle soon (May hopefully), and after spending a week there, they want me to spend a week in our Vancouver office setting up a new system! Rock! I love Vancouver! Went up to Lincolnshire for the weekend, very relaxing! Just what I needed right now, there is a lot of stuff going on, perhaps one day I will talk about it, but for now, I think I'll just Shut the Fuck up, and pretend it isn't happening! Much better! Went round to Marc and Davina's on Sunday evening to watch the Brazilian Grand Prix.. Well, what started off to be a really boring race, turned into one of the best this season, the race was a complete wash out, and some of the overtaking manouvers that were done, showed that some of the younger drivers have really got the skill to go far in the future. Marc's family are going through some hard times at the moment, I don't really want to say too much, because I know he hasn't said much on his site, therefore all I will say is this.. 'Dude, I'm always there for you, if ever you need anything, just let me know' Hmmm, re-reading that last statement, all that is going through my head is 'FAAAAAAAG!!!!'.

Well, it's been a fucking long time since I posted, and a lot of shit has happened! So, let's start from the top! The War has Started! There are many different views on this, whether we should or shouldn't have done it, my personal view is that we needed to go it and kick the crap out of the Genocidal Fuckhead who insists on following the Bible according to St. Bastard! I find it quite funny (in a morbid kind of way) that to date, 20 British Soldiers have died, that is not the funny bit, the amusing part is that I believe 18 or them have been killed in either A) Air crashes caused by malfunction, and not by combat, or B) By Friendly fire from both English and American troops and missiles. Only 2 have actually been killed on the Battlefield. But anyway, no more on this subject, my last word until something big happens on this, is that it is happening, face it, like it or not, be you pro or anti war, it is happening, our guys are out there, simply doing their job, and all we can do, is hope/wish/pray (delete as appropriate) for this to end as peacefully and quickly as war will allow! Anyway, onto more cheerful things......... A couple of weeks ago I was roped into installing a loft ladder at Marc's house..... ... To this days, I still feel the pain!!! 9 bloody hours!!!!! But it was a good learning curve, at one point we had to go back to my house to get some nails so that we could attach the ladder to the loft. In short, my Dad (used to do a lot of building work) didn't like the idea of hammering a nail into a bit of wood which also supports the ceiling below! Now, anyone from the UK, will have, at some point in their lives, watched the TV programme 'Dad's Army'. And in practically every episode, the Captain of the group insults one of the younger members of the squad, 'Pike' I believe his name was, the insult used, is simply "Stupid Boy". But said in such a way to make the insulter so much more superior that the insultee. Well, that was the insult, and the that was the way it was spoken, Hmmm, I love my Dad!!!! :) Well, anyway, that got completed, and the only other thing that has happened at all, is that last night, I went to see Avril Lavigne at the Brixton Academy with my mate Chris from work. All I can say about Avril is...superb!! The entire show was fantastic, it was thoroughly entertaining all the way through, she played every song that they have that I know of and pretty much Rocked! And then there was the other side of the deal, Chris made a joke before we got there about teenie boppers. And it was soooo true! There were loads of 15 years olds there, and I impressed my self by not attempting to shag any of them!!!! :) But anyway, that is all for now, I probably in the very spirit of me, will not post again for another month or so! :) But I will try to keep up to date.

Today has been a really bizarre day, it's not often that your work day can change from one day to the next! Literally, every hour has been changing between people annoying the shit out of me with stupid fucking questions, and then the next hour or so will be quiet, allowing me to get on with things and get stuff done! This may not have been helped by my severe mood swings from the lack of sleep that I have encountered over this past weekend! Really, between a combination of serious gaming sessions, and the Australian Grand Prix, my bod clock is well and truly fucked! :) Oh well, it seems that I am getting too old for this late night/early morning shit anymore! :)

Happiness is talking to an old friend again. :) Today is a good day! :)

Well, I have finally succumbed, my love of everything Sony has diminished, they have finally let me down for the last time! It has been a very long time since I bought a decent game for the PS2, and on Sunday, I went to the shops with the intention of trading in 5 games, and getting enough cash from that to buy a game. So, into Game I go, look around for 15 minutes or so, and finally pick up 2 games that I didn't really want, but I really was desperate to get something!! So anyway, total cost of the games £60, total amount the trade in games were worth, £80. So the guy tells me I can look for another game to make up the difference! Without even bothering to look, I just took back one of the trade games, and still didn't pay anything. That was the moment, the exact point that I thought "Sony are a bunch of Arse!!!, I need another console!". So yesterday afternoon, I ordered a copy of Animal Crossing from Kingcube. And tomorrow, I am trading in loads of my PS2 games for a Nintendo GameCube. That is right, I have in the past, been totally dedicated to all Sony Game Systems, and my loyalty has been strong, but no more, they have finally fucked me up the ass one time too many!! There is only one reason that I am keeping my PS2 at all, GTA3:VC

I just got called an 'Fucking Unhelpful Cunt' !! So that was nice! Update on this one to follow, you see, the reason for this statement, was that I refused to agree to a 32 minutes deadline to supply the guy with revenue information for all customers in Europe. And from what I understand, the guy really needs this info for a meeting with the European VP this afternoon. And from what I know to be true, there are only about 50 people in the company, who have the knowledge, and access, to get this guy the information he needs, unfortunately, for 49 of them, it is only 03:30 in the morning, and they are all in bed! How I am laughing inside! :) As I said before, update to follow.

Well, it's been bloody ages since I have blogged, partly 'cos I haven't had much to say, and then finally, because I have been away for the last week on holiday! Nothing exciting, just a relaxing week away in Lincolnshire. So, here comes the catch up. Everything was pretty much the same before last week, and then I went to Lincolnshire, and did mostly nothing all week. It is kind of cool though, that the week that terrorist threats hit Heathrow airport, a place which I live 5 miles from, and also live directly under (one of) the flight path(s), I bugger off halfway up the country. The weird thing, while London had tanks everywhere, police presence stepped up to insane proportions, random car checks being carried out, and suspected terrorists being arrested right near where I live, I was in a place where they have no central heating, the nearest town is 8 miles away, the nearest large shopping centre is about 28 miles away. They only really have 4 TV Channels, (Reception on Channel 5 is not an option!). And in all honesty, if Heathrow had been attacked by terrorists, I wouldn't have found out about it until I got home. But anyway, I spent most of the week playing on the Sims on PS2, it's quite a good game, and the thing that improves it over the PC version IMO, is that there a mission based levels which give the game a point. I think I am quite near the end of it now though, my Sim wants for nothing, he has far too much spare cash, and is an International Spy! But it shows a lot about addiction when I didn't shower or eat anything for 36 hours, just so that my Sim life could carry on for that bit longer. I am actually quite glad about being back to work, at least it forces me into an acceptable sleep pattern. But anyway, enough for now, back to the boring first day back to work, sorting through email bullshit!

Just got fucked over by the boss, not a personal rogering, but a general office one. So that was nice!

There is a game that me and Marc were playing a while back called Uplink. The game is primarily (and pretty much only) about hacking. It gives quite a cool interface, and is just generally fun. The idea being that you work for a dodgy company, who employ you to carry out their dirty work effectively. And you get missions to hack into banks, academic databases, Internal Services machines...etc..etc.. Well, with this game, they also had a Zipped file on the disk containing about 50 pages or so worth of Notes the developers made while coming up with the game. The Zip file was password protected, and by the not so cunning use of searching on Google, I managed to open up the files. On one of them was a really cool quote embedded in an image. 'Data is the Ammunition in a New Era of War'. Pretty cool quote really, and so true as well. If you think about it, pretty much everything now is controlled by computers, If you really go deep into this is is quite scary. Check out this article in The Register. It seems that the US already has a deal with Microsoft to have some of their battle cruisers running on Win2K. And they are currently working on more, and also, the Royal Navy are also going that way, as AMS, a company that looks to deal with the electornics aspect of building warships, has decided to go with Microsoft for their future plans. And this quote is fantastic 'But AMS is now committed to Windows, and says it intends to base future Combat Management Systems on Windows variants, describing Windows as a viable underlying operating system for operational systems.' So, picture this, Wartime (that shouldn't be too hard to picture, we are pretty much there!), and off the coast of the violent oprressor of a pigdog's home, they Mighty Allied Fleet stands tall, proud in their valiant effort to save all of humanity, and safe in the knowledge that if a film were to be ever made of this moment, the entire fleet and personnel would be American, because no one else exists in the world! When....All of a sudden, the order comes through, strategic sites are to be targeted, War has officially been declared. One poor bastard of a Weapons Officer, (who won't even last long enough in the film to be dignified in being given a name!!) turns to his station, moves his mouse to turn off the pornographic screensaver, and the entire ship blue screens! Weapon targetting goes mental, and within 2 more minutes, every Allied ship in the fleet has been sunk by their own torpedoes, All of the American cities have incoming friendly nuclear missiles, and that of course is the end of the world, simply due to the fact that without the USA, the world would cease to exist!! My God man, could you imagine it, Other countries may be forced to take part in the World Series to make up the numbers! And the Days of Humanity are over! ------------------------------------------------------ Jesus Christ - I only meant to post one quote!!! :-)

It's been snowing!!! Well, more like a Blizzard really, this all happened yesterday, and it was insane! Driving home from work was mildly amusing, at least I got to catch some sleep on the road though, there was no point in staying awake, I had no control over my car anyway! Just the simple action of, accelerate, and hope the curve of the road, and the rebound off of other cars gets you where you want to go. But then. the snow stopped. And everyone slept, and then we all woke up this morning...And the world, as far as driving conditions were concerned, had ended! This just about sums up my day, I've got to go to our Luton office today, and the M25 is closed just after the junction that I get off of it, so that means that the traffic will be insane. And apparently, the M1 is not much better. So it looks like I'm gonna have a bloody fantastic day today!

Been getting really poetic lately, this is quite a good thing for me, as I have been unable to write anything at all lately. But within the last week or two, I've been writing quite a few. I will prolly post some of them when I have filtered through them.

Christ it's been a while ! But again, not a bloody lot happening, just the usual, lots of work, very little amount of play going on. One cool thing that has been going on, is that me, Marc, and Davina have been planning a holiday. I'm actually getting really excited about it, that in itself is pretty weird as I normally don't get excited about holidays. To summarize it slightly, I was spoilt as a child. My Dad works for KLM, a Dutch airline, and as a child, I was lucky enough to go away on many holidays. Most of these holidays were to the USA, and as the holiday we are planning is to the West coast of the States, I really didn't think it would affect me like this. But it has! I think it is mainly because it is the first holiday where I have got a major part in the planning of it, most others have been ones that I just had to agree to. More about that to follow when it is arranged a bit more, but the basic gist of it, is that we are flying into Los Angeles, hiring a car, driving around the South of California for a few days, then heading to Las Vegas for a few days (Route still not planned), and taking in the sites around the area, before either flying home from Las Vegas, or driving back to Los Angeles and flying home from there. It's gonna cost, but I've kinda reached the stage now of...'Who gives a F*ck'. I haven't been on holiday with my friends in a long time, I haven't ever driven in the States (Legally anyway!), and I have a Credit Card which is practically begging to be used. As long as I am saving up for it this year, I can continue paying it off next year. Logical isn't it!!

Well, it's stupid O'Clock in the morning, and I am 'slightly' stoned! It is great, hasn't been done in a long time, so it is feeling pretty weird. I have been around Marc and Davina's all evening, watching loads of Cold Feet episodes...Soooo Funny! And then, I came home, had a couple of smokes, and have, for the last half hour or so, been laying on my bed, in the complete darkness, listening to my Favorite song, 'Foolish Games', by Jewel . And, as is suitable in these occasions, getting really depressed! Ah, what fun, and, in a moment of madness, I wrote this. ------------ Alone, The Darkness calls to me, As I fight for my Sanity, I cry out to the madness, Cease………. Stop this suffering, This endless world of hate, The torment that you inflict upon me. But my screams seem pointless, Nothing changes, This world never seems to offer anything but agony, And Pain. One day, I know that my thoughts will change, But in this moment, I can see no end No Way Out That is my fear, The terror inside of me, That screams for release, For Freedom. --------------- Well, I can still remember the reasons and emotions behind it all, you can probably figure most of them out yourself, and I have no intention of sharing them. The people who know me, will be able to figure out exactly what it all means in pretty much no time at all, but hey, I would like to think that no 'ripping the piss' will be done. :) Pretty depressing huh! Of course, tomorrow, I will probably come to my senses and delete this post. But for now, it stands. Goodnight! R.

Yeah Yeah, I know, it's been a while! But in all honesty, nothing has been happening, nothing at all! It kinda brings about the question, of if you should update your Blogger site, if nothing has happened? Do you just fill lines with pieces of bullshit? I dunno! But seriously, since I last posted, nothing remarkable has happened, to me at least. It seems that the USA has finally found the needed excuse to drop bombs on Iraq, loads of people have been arrested for molesting children! But as for me, nothing !! I will most likely post later today, if I come up with any imspiration!

Woo Hoo! Rant time! While it is fresh in memory, this is a conversation I just had with our Support team in Seattle. These people are meant to be the ones who can fix anything if it breaks! This is in regard to a work issue, but most of you should be able to understand it quite easily, there is nothing much that is too job specific. HQ : What's the problem? Me : It's about the new changes to the PICKUP order screen in the system. HQ : What's up with it? Me : It's not working. HQ : In what way? Me : Nothing is going through the system, nothing prints out. HQ : Have you read the Help page? Me : There's a Help page? HQ : Yes, it's inside the Export system, under Operations Assistant. Me : Obviously! (I go there, and read it).... Me : It doesn't actually tell me anything about it though. HQ : So, what is the problem? Me : It's not working!! HQ : In what way? Me : Haven't we just done this?? HQ : What?? Me : OK, let's start over......The new PICKUP screen, is not working, the Users enter all the info, and when they process it, nothing happens, the documents disappear from the print queue, and do not print out. HQ : So what is the problem with it? Me : The Dev team are all muppets! They've screwed it up, and nothing is working? HQ : That's a bit unfair, it is probably user error, I can't see a problem with it. Me : Well, I tried it, with the same result, it's not working! It is really screwed, and needs to be fixed! HQ : But it is working fine on my system in Seattle. Me : That's because you haven't put it on your system in Seattle, you have only installed it on the test branches, ie. London, and Dublin. HQ : Oh, is that how it all works? Me : Can i speak to someone else?? I think I kept remarkably cool during that call, but really, FFS! Where do they get these people!

Well, X-mas is now completely over! The Boss is back in the office, and I am actually having to work for a living again. Not much else to say really, I kinda understand a bit more about a debate I had with a friend a while ago, about what you should and should not put in your blogs. There are a lot of things I could write about here, but it would lead to questions and....well, shite basically. The funny thing is, I pretty much know, that anyone who reads the above paragraph will question me anyway, about 'What I wouldn't Say?'. You kinda lose both ways really. But hey, to anyone who reads this, I can guarantee it is not about any of you. Trust me! Grrr, can't end on a depressing note! Must be happy! Go here for some fluffy fun! B3TA.

Well, Happy New Year and all that! :) This has come around far too quickly for my liking, and me reasoning is that only 10 minutes ago, we were celebrating the millenium!! Well, weirdness time, I have started the year in the most bizarre of ways, this happened to me last night as I came back home from Lincolnshire. So, I'm driving home on the A1, and at about 21:00 I was in the area or WyBoston, there were loads of 'Police Slow' signs, so I slowed right down, and saw loads of cops ahead, there was a car upturned in a ditch on the side of the road, I was only doing about 30Mph. I had a glance over (naughty I know!) and looked ahead again, there was an old lady crossing the road right in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes, stopped the car easily in time, and the old lady disappeared in front of me. At this point, I would have accepted that I was bloody tired, and my mind was playing games, but then one of the coppers came running over, and asked if I was OK, and what happened, all I told him, was that I saw something in the road ahead of me, and his reply was, 'I know, I saw her too, pull the car over and sit down for a while, you look a bit shaky'. So I pulled over, and the Policeman gave me a drink, and I had a cigarrette, and then after he was convinced that I wasn't going to freak out on the road, he let me go home! HOW FREAKY!!! Oh, and the moment I got back on the road, within 2 minutes my Mother called me to check I was OK, and to see how I was doing, no specific reason, she just felt the need to give ma a ring? This year could be a fun one!!

Well, that's it then! Christmas is now over, and all we have to look forward to, is the horrendous amount of drink to be consumed at New Year! Hope everyone had a good X-mas, it was kinda strange for me, even on Christmas day, it still didn't feel like Christmas, very weird. Well, I'm off to see my brother in Newcastle this evening, I fly up there at about 20:00 tonight for a fun packed weekend of drinking competitions with Geordies, could be fun! Going to see Newcastle United play against Tottenham on Sunday, so picture this, Me, a Manchester United supporter (with a London accent), sitting in with the Newcastle supporters, while they face a London team!! I'm dead!

I spent the weekend in Lincolnshire, staying with Steve, it was cool to get away, whenever I spend time up there, I never want to come back though! Up in Lincolnshire, the village where Steve lives is completely Isolated, and the nearest town is about 28 Miles away, it is so relaxing. And in the evenings, you can look up at the sky, and see thousands of stars. Now, when in Slough, I am about 1 mile from the nearest town, on the flight path of Heathrow Airport, and when I look up in the evenings, I can occasionally see 10, maybe even 20 stars on a good night!. Well, got suitably pissed as always, it's kinda the tradition now, wake up in the morning, and have a Vodka for breakfast! Then continue throughout the day. It's great!

Went to see Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers last night, and imho, It Rocks!! A lot better than the first one, and that's not to say that the first one was a pile of poo, far from it, the first one was superb. I found that this one gripped me from the very start, and although it was about three and a half hours long, the only time I even remotely thought about checking my watch was pretty much towards the end. There is one section that maybe goes on for a couple of minutes too long, But apart from that, Top Marks!!!! The only bad thing about last night was our seating positions, We didn't actually realise that cinemas do not allocate seating anymore on new (and inevitably busy) films. So we couldn't all sit together, and we had to sit right at the front. It was fine after a while, but it did take about 15 minutes or so to adjust to the closeness of the screen. Top Marks to Warner Bros cinemas as well, the amount of legroom and seat space you have is really good, much better than other cinemas in the area.

Woohoo!! Well, kinda anyway, I managed to get to sleep by 04:00 this morning, that means that my total amount of sleep in the last 72 hours has been approximately 7 hours! Damn I feel good, no, really, I do!! :) Driving into work in the mornings is becoming such as rush! Trying to stay awake seems to be the most tricky thing, but it seems that open windows, nicotine intake, and loud music is the key. So then, it's Marc's Birthday today, haven't bothered ringing him yet, no point, he'd just be really pissed that I'd interrupted his shagging fest. Not sure when is a good time to actually call him though, that boy seems to shag constantly, and I imagine that due to the birthday thing, it is a damn good excuse to shag some more!

What is it about Germans that gets right on my tits?? Scandalous generalisation I know, and I apologise to anyone who is offended by it, but of course, what I mean by that statement, is specific to people that have pissed me off within the last hour of me writing this message! It's definitely been a bad day so far, and it's not even 11:00 yet. This does not bode well for the rest of the day. Still, I am going to get my Exhaust fixed on my car today, after knowing that it has been buggered for the past 3 months or so, but really, it has now got to the ridiculous stage, I go somewhere, and people know that I am on my way from half a mile distance. A car with serious flatulence is never a good thing! I think my bad days could be a result of the insomnia I seem to be suffering from at the moment, I am not sure why, but for some reason, I am unable to get to sleep before 04:30 in the morning. And when your alarm goes off at 07:00, it really makes the rest of your day suck monkey nuts! For the past two nights now, I have had a combined total of just under 4 hours sleep. I'll be honest, I feel completely screwed!

Compliments to B3ta for this one. I was taking a look this morning at what strange delights they had to offer, and found this!!! So, what they are saying, is that you can initially wash yourself with a bald pussy(cat). But then after a few days, the pussy grows some hair, and you can continue to wash youself, with your hairy pussy!! An absolute bargain at only £5.99. But don't rush yourself now campers, they are currently Out of Stock.

Just had an interesting conversation with Marc, basically regarding how personal you should go when writing 'blogs'. I can see his point, if the person you are ranting about reads it, they could be offended, but also, coming from the other side, I kinda think that the reason for writing one of these is to be quite open about what you are thinking. If I leave some things out, I may as well leave it all out and pretend that I am Susan, a 19yr old brunette from Mid Glamorgan, who's interests include Para-sailing, going on boating holidays, and being rogered firmly up against a tree! I just think that the best way of doing it, is to write what is in my head at the time, generally, if someone is offended by something I write about them, then it gives the opportunity for them to confront me about it, and then it can go two ways, either it gets sorted out, in which case, the rant has worked and all is fluffy again, or it doesn't, in which case, at least you got the problem off your chest and don't have to hold back from screaming anymore! Just my Thoughts!

I was reading on a friends blogger site today, and have since got really bloody annoyed with him, Below are 2 quotes from Stuii's website. This Quote is taken from the 28th October Nice drive home, even if I did have to flash no less than eight little twats out of the fast lane on the motorway This Quote is taken from the 11th December A driving re-training programme: Much of the danger and congestion on the roads today is caused by dangerous and ignorant drivers who consider the highway code and traffic laws to be a set a quaint suggestions that only learners have to obey in order to pass their tests. Speeding, about which the police and the government are obsessed, only plays a comparatively small part. The highway code needs to be brought up to date (as it still lives in the 50s and has no concept of things like three lane roundabouts) and then once that's done it needs to be made law, and enforced rigorously. I reckon 40% of drivers would then be considered unroadworthy and could have their licenses revoked. Name one other scheme that would cut traffic levels by 40% in one go. Some of you may find it mildly shocking to know that he dtives a BMW! A scandalous generalisation I know, but my opinion will always stand due to past experiences, when you buy a BMW or a Mercedes, you also purchase the right to do whatever the hell you want on the road, why because you own it, that's why!! If you pay that much for a car, surely you shouldn't have to give a shit about other drivers! It makes me soooo angry!

So, Yeah!! Went round to Rob and Nicky's last night for a Christmas get together. It was pretty cool, the usual crowd of Nicky, Rob, Steve and Lisa were there, and Nik and Martin, who I haven't seen it a while. But also, my old work supervisor, and mate Martin (Another one!) was there, I haven't seen him in about a year, it was kinda cool, there was no weirdness about it, we just caught up on old times, and everything was cool! Oooh, Take a look at this on the BBC website, they have finally decided to make it more clearer to me that smoking will one day kill me! Yay, the previous warnings on the packets that quite clearly stated 'You will DIE!!!!' apparently were not enough! Now, they have to cover even more of the packets with warnings, eventually, the day will come when someone will bring out a packet of cigarettes called, 'These will Kill You!' Surely the government will have to be satisfied with that. I think it will be hilarious when the whole of the UK suddenly gets the realisation that they are going to die, and we all stop smoking! And this is the timeline I can forsee! Week1 - Most people in the UK decide to stop smoking due to Campaigns against it, and the serious price increases laid on by the government. Week2 - The Non- Smoking community is joyous over their success in getting people to stop smoking, and the Ex'smokers are starting to become slightly irratable due to the fact that the patches just aren't good enough!! Week3 - The remainder of the smokers stop smoking, The Non-Smokers are still extremely happy, The original Ex-Smokers are starting to get prison sentences for serious counts of GBH! Week4 - The government realises that their level of income from tax has dropped dramatically, the UK is slowly becoming financially fucked, the cigarette companies don't really care, they have other countries to deal with. The Non-Smokers are protesting against the government due to the fact that the price of petrol has had to practically double to cover the loss of income from cigarettes. The government is beginning to build more prisons to house the Ex-Smokers who are commiting GBH, and in serious 100-a-day cases, Murder! Week5 - Taxes in general are rising even higher to cover the cost of the new prisons, Non-Smokers are suffering worse than they did before, Ex-Smokers have started to take day-trips over to the continent and are bringing back their allowance of 3200 cigarettes which keeps them happy again, and they are still saving a shitload of money even though the UK taxes are so high, as the continental prices of cigarettes is practically nothing! Week6 - The government comes up with this brilliant plan to stop pollution, and persuades everyone to start taking the bus into work each morning, That will stop them complaining about the cost of petrol! Everyone does this, the first thing people realise, is that when over a million people try to commute into London during the rush hour, about 1000 buses just can't handle the load, the people who suffered most with the buses finally get to work at about 14:00 in the afternoon, and businesses suffer a 60% loss in productivity. Week7 - Petrol stations go out of business, The UK economy is in turmoil, Smokers give up going to work at all due to the fact that they can make more money from going to the continent each day to buy cigarettes and sell them on the black market in the UK. All Businesses are utterly fucked by this point. The Government is getting mobbed by the people on the street. Week8 - Everyone starts devising their own way of reviving Hitler and bringing him into power in the UK, admittedly, he was a mass murdering fuckhead, but nothing can be worse than this! I mean really, can you see it all happening? The timescales may be out, and mild exaggerations may have been made, but it is all possible (Except for the Hitler bit, he was a bit too much of a mass murdering fuckhead!)

Ok, so, just quickly, let's go over a quick view of my friends, the reason I want to do this is to maybe give any readers an insight into the reasons buhind my views and humour! Really, my list of friends is quite short, and extremely strange! Marc - Best mate, normal type of guy, got quite a short temper though, has a tendancy to throw things around a lot when he gets a real good tantrum going! (Edit - I have been informed that my phrasing of the above person has caused offence, and therefore feel obliged to changed it, or explain further exactly what was in my head when I wrote it, so here goes!) He can hold his cool when needed, in a work situation, he is generally quite calm, in the sense that he won't beat a user to death even in the most extreme circumstances, but give the man an X-Box controller, and set him loose on a difficult mission in Splinter Cell, and the pad is a blur within 5 minutes as it flies across the room at speed, followed normally by the scream of either 'Fuck!!', 'FUCK YOU!!', or alternatively, 'GO FUCK YOURSELF' - Better? Davina - Been seeing Marc for a few months now, she's pretty cool, has a real big tendancy to piss me off at times with the 'You are crap, and he is not' line of speaking, apart from that though, she is pretty cool. Dan - Known him for a while, general all round good bloke, married to Fu/ (Note now how things get......different!) Fu - Married to Dan, and has a past including bi-sexual tendancies, Steve - A very good friend of mine, and extremely Gay!!! Has been known to camp it up to the max whenever he is around anyone who has issues with gay people! Lisa - Again, a really good friend, and very much Bisexual!! We have a tendancy to insult each other quite often, much fun is had by all! Hmm, do you all see where I am going here!! I say now, that my sexual preference is quite clear, I like women!! Full stop really, but I have absolutely no problem with gays or lesbians, but you can see the influences I have had in my humour over the last few years!

Once thing I almost forgot as well, Seeing as I have this site now, I may as well put this in, I wrote this last night, for some reason I couldn't sleep, may have been from the drunken state I was in as I went round to Marc and Davina's house and drunk quite a lot of Vodka! But anyway, I woke up at about 01:00, then at about 02:30, then finally at 03:30. By that point, I gave up completely, and just started thinking about stuff, it's amazing the influence you can get when half drunk, by looking around a dark room, paying particular attention to the shadows caused by light falling on trees, and at one point a cat outside. It was bizarre, there was a security light outside that had been left on by one of my neighbours, and this bastard cat must have walked across the top of a garage between the light and my room, the result, Ryan has a 6ft shadow of a cat calmly stride across his ceiling, Hehe, it brings a new meaning to the first line of this poem! 'Discharge' indeed!! :) I discharge my feelings alone in my void, with no one around to hear my solitary cry, voiceless, I scream out for your aid, to take me from my mind of desperation, alone, I face up to the flood of emotions, drowning me in my loneliness, sifting through my thoughts, trapped in suffocation, blocking the unbearable pain from my mind, considering my options, silently screaming, covering my emotions in the presence of others, can never show pain, hurt or discomfort, I must appear to be strong, my strength lays on the surface, showing no emotion, covering the pain, longing to call out for your aid, but sensing the hurt that you have within, I realise I am locked, alone in my mind, there is only one way I can sort out my emotions, alone. (Disclaimer - No Illegal drugs were used in the making of this poem!)

Well, let's go for the Love life shall we, this one is probably the most sucky! Let's start at the beginning, I am not going to hit too many details of the past, because it is quite sucky, and also because, I guess it doesn't matter anymore, what has happened has happened, there isn't anything that can be changed about it, I will probably just go for the more recent stuff, and how sucky it was! :) Well, I was seeing a girl for about 4 years, I never really admitted it to anyone, but it was kind of a rebound from a previous relationship. I saw someone when I was 15 for about 2 years, and me being stupid, gave her everything I had, When the time finally came that she started seeing my best mate at the time, I guess it was inevitable that we would split up! :) I took it really bad at the time, and for the space of about a year or so, I didn't really care about anything, and went on a spree of just seeing girls for the shag-factor (as it were). But that can really only last so long, as I said, after about a year of one night stands, making promises of phone calls, and generally, being a complete bastard, I finally got lonely. I realised that what I needed was someone that I could spend time with, so I started with the 4 year relationship. The relationship went relatively well for the first 3 years or so, but then, it got clingy, I just feel that when you are in a relationship with someone, you spend time with them, but also, you have to allow both parties to have personal space, and to see their own friends. It becomes silly when you have to lie to your girlfriend about being tired, and going home early to sleep, just so that you can go round your mates house and chill for a while in the evening. Well, the fourth year of that was spent planning the breakup, I hate breakups, there is no easy way of doing it, and my best mate and I planned it to almost immaculate detail, we knew when the tears would come, we knew what her reaction would be to my statements, and we planned pretty much what my speech would be to initiate, and to finalise the breakup. Most of you reading that will now have it set in your head of what a bastard I must be, to plan all that so perfectly it kinda wrong, I even admit that, but believe me, it was the least painful way of breaking up possible, I had already though of other wasy of doing it, and tried some, but none worked. My actions in the end, were the only ones available to me! Well, that relationship ended, and that's pretty much been my love Life. There is another girl that I have been getting closer to, but I am pretty sure that nothing will ever come of this relationship, At the moment, she is the only girl that I think of, and whenever my thoughts turn to wanting to be near someone, whenever I visualise who I would like to spend the rest of my life with, she appears in my head. Unfortunately, there are complications, 1) Our parents have been pretty much best friends all their lives, and unfortunately, my father knows of my history. The last time I went to see her, my fathers last words to me were 'If you touch her, I will break your legs'. Now to me, that kinda sounds slightly negative towards the relationship idea!!! 2) In all honesty, I am not entirely sure how she feels about me, we get on really well, and I think that we are fairly close, but she is currently at University, and during that time, the last thing you generally look for, is a long term relationship. Hey, sometimes, things suck, there is bugger all that you can do about it, you just have to live through the storm, and wait for the calm to appear at the other side.

Well, my first blog! I'm not sure why I decided to start, I think it is just one of those days, bored at the office, not got much else to do, reading through other peoples, and thinking, 'I really should do this, ti could get interesting'. Well, basically, I bit about me, I'm 24 live near London, UK, work at the Airport, and my love life pretty much sucks! Woot! I think I'll probably cover work and love life in another blog, there's kind of a lot to say on both! Well, that'll do for now!